Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
