How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
