Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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