I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
This is the high leading the old right now
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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