You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
