i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize