Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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