So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
