you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
