She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
