I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Damn victory sex feels great
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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