i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize