Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
