so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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