So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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