I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
