he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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