Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Buhtt sex?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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