No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
