I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
