I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
