three words: i give head
three words: not that well
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
