Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
