...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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