Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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