I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Randomize
