Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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