somebody snuck up and got me drunk
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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