My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
