My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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