he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
