Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
