Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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