Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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