seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
