Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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