so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
