to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
