Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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