Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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