we're chasing vodka with high fives
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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