so explain again why im purple
no
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
