drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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