Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
