you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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