One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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