Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
