her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
nutella sex= disaster
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
