Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
