I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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