No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Pants are for mortals
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
