I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
