I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
