Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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