google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
