I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
