Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
