that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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