Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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