woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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