Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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