He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
