how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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