Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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