if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
