I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Someone shit on the floor
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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