Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'd cum for enchiladas.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
