this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
