The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
