The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
