Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
